What does ‘going deep’ mean to you?

July 23rd, 2015

There are times, when you meet someone new, that you just know it is a cosmic collision and that the Universe has conspired for your introduction.

It could be with a friend, sister, partner, or lover.

You know there’s so much to learn from this relationship. So why the worry?


going-deep_Jennifer S RussellWill they accept you? Will they listen to your heart’s desires? Will they be willing and able to ‘go deep’ with you and really connect with your Spirit and Soul?

Before you can even answer that question, you need to define what ‘going deep’ means to you.

To me, it’s being willing to have my mind irrevocably changed by another human being. Letting them in enough to rewrite what I thought was true or real and, for a moment, assume if we don’t agree, I should adopt their point of view.

It’s being willing to surrender what’s most precious to me – to surrender my mind and to surrender my body – knowing that in their hands, I stand to expand and grow past my own limited sense of self into a vision that they hold for me which is bigger than anything I could hold about myself.

It’s being willing to surrender into their future vision of me, even (and especially) in the face of my own resistance.

It’s sharing all my parts, even the ones without ribbons and bows, knowing that they are in the hands of a loving psychological surgeon who can help me heal, and love, and grow in areas that I don’t like others to see.

It’s not having any oxygen for trite, superficial, surface conversation about any topic at any time and instead moving towards what matters most to each other at every turn.

It’s not shying away from the difficult conversations and being willing to sit together in the discomfort of those conversations to say what needs saying.

It’s being able to have a fight or a conflict or a rough time together and knowing that that isn’t what will send either of us scurrying away, disengaging and breaking our bond.

It’s being able to get so incredibly intimate that we almost lose our own identity and our sense of independence and autonomy to realize the post conventional nature of what a relationship really is which is neither co-dependent or independent but is in reality inter-dependent.

It’s being willing to ‘need’ someone else for the intimacy that I want, for the love that I want, for the life that I want without feeling like I’m somehow weaker or less than.

Going Deep is about allowing me the freedom to take the brakes off of any emotion I might be feeling whether it’s love, sadness, anger, shame, restlessness, or fear.

It’s looking forward towards a path that moves towards each other infinitely….looking forward to our entwinings and what they will reflect back at us.

Defining what ‘going deep’ means to me allows me to proceed in relationships that nourish those desires, and let go of relationships that serve only the ego or superficial.

It helps me focus my time and energy on giving all of myself to those that can give back all of themselves – without limitations, guidelines, or stipulations.

Without knowing what I need, I can never give what I have are receive what I want.

Going deep means I never have to sacrifice my heart to those that may neglect or mangle it.

And while it may not prevent me from disappointment, heartache, frustration, or sadness, it does allow me to love wholly, fully, endlessly, deeply.

I think that is worth it. Don’t you?

What does going deep mean to you? I’d love to know your definition. Leave me a note in the comments below.

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